I'm done...

The world has too many peolpe tryna be right...

Tonight I had an small argument with someone that I love, and it made me have an epiphany.

Some wise people say that there's always two sides to a story. Some say that there are three.

In reality, all there is to it, is a complete and utter lack of understanding. The third side does not truly exist.

It is just that one side sees it this way, and the other sees it that way, but once both sides are confronted and the pieces are put together, an understanding can be reached and the truth will be revealed. Therefore, all sides are eliminated.

This year, I have lost a few friends that meant the whole world to me for this same reason.

I said something, that in my mind, was a goodwill to them and a desparate cry for comfort.

One person read it and immediately assumed it a rant on them and a way to place blame.

This caused an argument, and soon a war.

Even after the truth had been established, the hot war did not really end, but turned into a cold war between two sides that used to be united... All because nobody wanted to seem wrong.

Tonight's argument caused me to see that arguments, in the end, are always about one thing only.

Victory.

Even in myself, I have seen this.

In the middle of an argument I realise I'm wrong, but continue to argue and desparately hold on to my anger just because I do not want to look stupid by losing. In fact, the anger increases simply because of the realisation that I am wrong, and I am sure that this happens with everyone, cuz I've seen it first hand.

It is human nature.

I realised this only because I'm able to control this with one person, because I have lost too many friends and too many "significant other"(s) and too many "familia"(s) to let an argument drive a dent between me and somebody I care about this time.

During an argument, I stop and think.

I know this person is wrong... but I do not want to fight because I care about them.

I've stopped, I've thought about it, but my pride (human nature yet again) keeps my anger intact.

So I breathe.

I breathe slow and deep until I force the anger out of me, and it takes all my energy and effort, but once I manage to force a smile out of me, the anger dissapears.

So right here and now I have made a decision.

My life would be so much easier if I didn't fight for my right to be right... even when I am.

Next time somebody has a problem with me, even if it is a stupid one, or if I don't even know what it is, I will apologize, step aside, and leave them alone to cool down, and if they still have a problem with me, then they can just leave me alone. I do not need to impress or please anybody who has a problem with who or how I am, and the people who truly care about me will in turn realise what has happened and leave it at that.

And those who believe I actually mean something to them, those that think of me as somebody in their life that they don't want to lose either will stay by me even after I actually was wrong.

So I'm done trying to be right.

I'm done arguing with the world.

I'm just going to keep my cool, and take the bullet.

I know when I'm right, and when I'm trying to help, but if people don't want to listen, then they win.

"I'm sorry"

The world has enough people tryna be right.

Margaret Nicolas Decena Alpajora

9 August 2011 [0006h]